My Life Is A Gunshot (2019)

Noise musician Joke Lanz has a loyal fan base. And a dreadful image: his stage performances see him taking a beating, emitting deafening screams or exhausting himself till the blood flows. For the privilege, he denies himself all luxury in his personal life. How does someone end up living this way? This movie explores the life a sensitive artist haunted for decades by a trauma: when he was 12, his father shot himself on the roof of their house. Joke has been trying to come to terms with it ever since. This also affects his own role as a father, which is equally fraught with problems for him. The shock of becoming a father himself following the birth of his son became the trigger for his life’s project “Sudden Infant”, in which he has involved his son Céleste, now an adult, since his earliest childhood. This is a movie about fathers, sons, and what happens when traumatized sons become fathers. And become musicians whose art is, in some measure, a form of self-therapy.